I'm a big kid now

Today is my birthday. Holy cow...I'm 25.

Wow.....Hmmm......

I honestly don't feel any different ....but having to tell people I am now 25.....that may be a little difficult.

It's not that I just feel old now......but it just seems that I should be all accomplished or something and I've really got nothing to show at 25. I should have my bachelors degree or children or some great talent or some incredible career or I don't know......something.....

Oh well.....

It really is kinda crazy to think of all things I've done or things I've been through in the past 25 years. All the things I've learned about myself and the world around me. (Well my memory only lets me got back 10 maybe 15 years actually)

I remember when I got in to Jr. High and you get to that age that you actually start thinking about your future. I had my whole life planned. I was going to get married right out of high school at 18 (that seemed like such a grown up age to me at the time) and I was going to have my two kids asap so I could be way done with having kids by the time I was 23. I was going to marry that perfect guy who had a fabulous 9-5 office job with his big fancy college degree and we would live in that big fancy house in the city and I would be that super fun and hip soccer mom. We would have all the nice stuff and we would just live happily ever after without a care in the world.

HA!!!

Well.....let's just say that didn't happen. In the past 5-10 years I have definitely learned you cannot plan out your life. You can make suggestions and you can try and obtain certain goals and live your life the best way you know how, but life takes you were it wants to and you don't always have a say in that.

Birthday's I think are a good time to reflect on your life....where you are where your going and where you've been. My life has taken me to so many different places and I have experienced things I never thought I would have to deal with. Some good ...some bad.....but C'est la Vie....such is life.

One of my best moments is getting my calling in church to go to the temple twice a week when I was 23. I was going to school full time, working full time, and living @ home in Morgan. At first I was like...there is no way I can go to the temple twice a week...how will I ever find the time....but holy cow.....where there's a will there's a way and that was one of the most amazing times of my life. I aced that semester in school (finished my second associates degree) I did great at my job and that is when I meet Levi. I had that calling until we got married. Temple truly do bless your life!

Another one was meeting Levi.....and after our second date....where I made him pull over so I could throw up on the side of the road and got it all over my hands and hair....he still drove me home, kissed me good night and asked me out again. That was when I was like....this guy is a keeper!!

Then there are those ugly moments in life....when my company went down and I had to look for another job just a few months before Levi and I were to get married.....when Levi was unemployed for almost a year, my nasty divorce almost 4 years ago and getting into thousands of dollars in debt. Definitely things I did not plan for.....but at the same time I grew so much from these experiences.....and honestly now that it is all said and done....it's like none of these experiences ever really happened. Years ago, when I was going through a very difficult time....my dad once told me that as long as you are doing everything you know to be right and trying to do your best that God will never let you mess up your life to the point of no return. There may be bumps along the way....but in the end all will work out for your good. I am proof postive of that. I have never forgotten that and when other ugly moments come my way I constantly remind myself of that.

Well I guess being 25 isn't so bad. I guess I'm a grown up now. I've grown, I've matured, and I'm still learning. I didn't get married at 18 but at 23 I married the love of my life. I don't have any children yet but hey I still have plenty of time. I may have 2 or I may have 5....whatever is right for me and Levi. I didn't marry my 9-5 office guy....instead I got a guy from an incredible down to earth family who raised him to work hard and how to treat a lady (and he's pretty cute!). I didn't conform to the soccer mom prototype...instead God made me into ME and that is exactly what I want to be...there is no one else like me. I don't live in an RC Wiley house in the big city on the hill and I probably never will .....but I live in my home that I have made with Levi....and I plan on staying there for a very long time.

Can only wonder what another year will bring?